Do You Feel Married Yet?

This is the question my friend littlguy asks me everytime we chat on line, and my answer is always, "Sure, why not?" because the truth is that I'm not sure. How does being married feel? J and I have now known each other for 27 months: the first 8 by computer and phone only. We've been together IRL for 19. He's been in Canada for 9 months; just a slightly shorter amount of time than we've been engaged. He's been moved in here for 3 full months now, and now that the dresser is here and the armoire is built, his things no longer litter any free surface (that's saved for wedding gifts at the moment). Not that any of these things would make me feel married...they're just measures of how long we've known each other. I think the problem is, I can't decide what has really changed since the wedding. He's working, I'm home; and it's my house, so nothing has changed there. We keep separate bank accounts, and he gives me money to help with the bills because they're all linked to my accounts. I still pay the mortgage, and the house is in my name. Seeing as I'm not changing my name legally, it's one more thing that we really don't share. I keep introducing myself as Sarah S on the phone and making reservations for things. It's funny to me, and something to sigh over for him. J is once again looking around for work (he does this a lot...I think it's to rattle me), and this may be the deciding factor: we lay in bed last night talking about the possibilities, and what it would mean for us. He talked about how he needed to do what was best for him, as well as for his family. I suddenly realized that he was talking about me as his family - and it gave me warm fuzzies; partially because he really wanted my opinion, but also because he was willing to think about my needs and putting them first. Apparantly, my husband has a lot to teach me. TUA (Totally Unrelated Aside with deferance to kapgar): Glamour project 2007 started today. I went into the bathroom to take a shower this morning and realized that there were 2 men in my backyard ripping out the patio stones and railways ties that made up the totally useless lower patio that came between my deck and the grass. Woohoo!! Soon it will be all grass. I must buy a hose. We don't own one of those, and the seeds will need watering.

1 comment:

kapgar said...

You will both learn a lot. Trust me on that one.

And thanks for the deference. ;-)