This is the question my friend littlguy asks me everytime we chat on line, and my answer is always, "Sure, why not?" because the truth is that I'm not sure. How does being married feel?
J and I have now known each other for 27 months: the first 8 by computer and phone only. We've been together IRL for 19. He's been in Canada for 9 months; just a slightly shorter amount of time than we've been engaged. He's been moved in here for 3 full months now, and now that the dresser is here and the armoire is built, his things no longer litter any free surface (that's saved for wedding gifts at the moment). Not that any of these things would make me feel married...they're just measures of how long we've known each other.
I think the problem is, I can't decide what has really changed since the wedding. He's working, I'm home; and it's my house, so nothing has changed there. We keep separate bank accounts, and he gives me money to help with the bills because they're all linked to my accounts. I still pay the mortgage, and the house is in my name. Seeing as I'm not changing my name legally, it's one more thing that we really don't share. I keep introducing myself as Sarah S on the phone and making reservations for things. It's funny to me, and something to sigh over for him.
J is once again looking around for work (he does this a lot...I think it's to rattle me), and this may be the deciding factor: we lay in bed last night talking about the possibilities, and what it would mean for us. He talked about how he needed to do what was best for him, as well as for his family. I suddenly realized that he was talking about me as his family - and it gave me warm fuzzies; partially because he really wanted my opinion, but also because he was willing to think about my needs and putting them first. Apparantly, my husband has a lot to teach me.
TUA (Totally Unrelated Aside with deferance to kapgar): Glamour project 2007 started today. I went into the bathroom to take a shower this morning and realized that there were 2 men in my backyard ripping out the patio stones and railways ties that made up the totally useless lower patio that came between my deck and the grass. Woohoo!! Soon it will be all grass. I must buy a hose. We don't own one of those, and the seeds will need watering.
The pictures came! And my parents were here for supper last night, so I now have a disc of my BFF's pics too. It's been very exciting, posting albums to Facebook, adding one here and so on.
We went to see The Simpsons Movie Friday night. Lots of fun. Someday, I may even stop singing the Spider Pig song. But I'm not sure it will be anytime soon.
Right. Must do dishes. We'll see what else transpires.
My intent, at least for the summer, is to write everyday. I am already remiss in doing this. It's not even really a case that I'm all that busy. I just don't sit down and think about blogging. Meh. Here's the current observations and craziness:
Weddings are expensive, even when over. I phoned the dry cleaners on Monday to ask how much it would cost to have my dress cleaned. It's not even all that dirty. With no dance, I wore the thing for about 9 hours. Probably the most likely times for it to get dirty were my getting in and out of my BFF's van and during dinner. I managed to stay clean during dinner. The dry cleaner told me at least $300. I didn't tell them about the coat that goes with it. Argh. So the dress is still lying across our guestroom bed until I can figure out what to do with it. I'm not sentimental enough to keep it forever, but there's a part of me anti-selling the silly thing. I want to be able to gift it to some plus sized girl who desperately needs a dress. We'll see. I may sell it just to get the dry cleaning fees out of it.
I still have no pictures of the day. My mother has been passing an album around, but I still have 4 digital images that I haven't printed for the simple reason that our photographer took the exact sames shots. Apparantly the CD is in the mail. I so hope it comes soon. People are starting to look at me funny when I say I have nothing to show for the day yet. I mean, it's been almost 2 weeks!! How could I not?
J's new dresser comes today, so I actually managed to clean out the blanket box so I could move it yesterday. I'm getting rid of all the twin bed sized linens in the house. We replaced that bed, so why not? I don't have space to store all those sheets and blankets too. Despite what you might think that that would mean towards moving things out of the dining room, it hasn't happened. Absolutely nothing moved yesterday. i would like to say that I am extremely proud of that, but my parents are now coming for dinner Saturday night, and we need the dining room table so we all have somewhere to sit and eat. Guess what my project is for today and tomorrow? Hopefully J will find something to do. I'm not sure I want his help. It might make me crazy.
Speaking of making me crazy, J's mom phoned yesterday and asked for a list of everything we received as a wedding and shower gift. Um, why? There is no such list. I (or another of my choosing) dutifully wrote on the back of the card or a discarded envelope who gave me what. I am also a little confused as to why J's mom seems to feel that she needs said list. J's coment? "Oh, there's probably someone who wants to give us something, and she wants to make sure it's not a duplicate." I don't know. I find it more nefarious than that, but what's she going to do with a list of gifts? Perhaps my distrust comes from her follow up question, "Did you get much money?" Or maybe it's my own cynical nature.
Bleh. Other than that, the weekend is upon us. J's schedule of Friday and Saturday off will work well for the summer. With me off all the time, it really doesn't matter. We're going to see the Simpsons movie this weekend (more things to quote!), and clean out the dining room. That may be enough.
Well, the wedding has come and gone. A beautiful day, and now all I need are the pictures to remember it by. People kept warning me that it would all pass in a blur, and it kinda did. It was a lovely day - as I've been told. Hallie has announced that it was her favourite wedding ever, so yay! J and I had a great honeymoon, cruising in the western Caribbean.
But I have a confession to make:
I am sitting in the midst of piles of gifts, and I am paralysed.
It would be great if I weren't such a procrastinator. I may never see my dining room table again. I need to go through the closets and get rid of the things that we don't need anymore (like the twin bed sheets and blankets), or don't want (like the pink towels that my mom gave me when I moved out so she could buy new ones); yet the new towels sit in the dining room waiting for me to unpack them.
J's comment upon returning and surveying the state of most of the main floor of the house? "I was kind of sorry that I was going back to work, but now I'm not." I know there's a hardwood floor in here somewhere.
But at least I have a project - and a bit of a goal: a friend of mine is having a garage sale in August/September, and she's taking all of my cast offs (especially those from the kitchen - who needs 6 9x13" pans??), so I need to get this done before then.
We'll see how that goes.
In 1200 characters, I could say quite a bit. I'm early 40s, married, not enough time to do the things in life that I love. But I do enjoy cooking, travel, and sleeping. Especially sleeping...but that goes without saying.
I'm always on the lookout for great new recipes to try, fun new experiences to do, and finding a new place to nap...all with my husband.